


The Writing on the Wall

by looneylizzie



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Life at the SGC, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-28 11:11:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20063065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/looneylizzie/pseuds/looneylizzie
Summary: Hardly anyone noticed it at first. On the wall, towards the ground, a bird had been drawn in what looked like light yellow sidewalk chalk.





	The Writing on the Wall

Hardly anyone noticed it at first.

Although that might have been because it started in one of the lesser used corridors on Level 16. Walter wouldn’t have noticed it if General Landry hadn’t asked him to supervise the cleanup after Ba’al and his clones took control of half of the base and caused some chaos. As per usual.

On the wall, towards the ground, a bird had been drawn in what looked like light yellow sidewalk chalk. It was more of a line drawing, really, and the bird (probably a canary) was rather geometric in shape - it looked more like the drawing of a child than an adult. The yellow color did a surprisingly good job of blending in with the concrete walls, and with the yellowish tint of the lights, it was hard to see it unless you were at the right angle.

As Walter bent down to examine it, he wondered if it had been put there recently, or if it had been left unnoticed for a long time. He couldn’t tell, but he did remember SG-15 bringing back survivors from an Ori attack on P9V-153 the month before, who had stayed in the isolation rooms converted into temporary quarters because of overflow. There had been quite a few children running around, and it wouldn’t have surprised Walter if they had somehow stolen chalk from one of the labs and used it for some entertainment. They’d likely washed it off and just forgot about the well-hidden bird down the hall.

But when Walter spotted another bird on Level 15 a week later, he knew that it couldn’t have been the kids from P9V-153.

The second bird was red, with a black face and eyes and a distinctive plume of feathers on the top of its head - a cardinal - and a much better quality drawing than the last. He suspected that the artist was much better than he expected, and was simply adjusting to using clunky sticks of chalk over a pencil or paintbrush.

Walter began to wonder at who the artist might be when he spotted a very colorful duck diving underwater drawn on Level 12 three days after the cardinal, noting that it was drawn a little higher off of the ground - knee-height - so it would be more noticeable if it weren’t for the relatively unused location.

Later that same day Walter entered General Landry’s office and noticed something new on his desk. “If you don’t mind me asking, what is that, sir?”

The General beamed and handed it to Walter. “It’s a Bird-A-Day Calendar. Gift from my daughter. Are you into birding, Chief?”

He laughed nervously. “No, I don’t think so, sir. But it’s a nice calendar,” he said, returning it to the proper spot on the desk. According to the description, the bird of the day was a Silver Pheasant.

After Walter was dismissed he couldn't help but chuckle under his breath. It was unlikely that the General was the one drawing on the walls of the SGC, but it was obvious where the real artist was getting their inspiration from.

Sure enough, the next day he found a Silver Pheasant drawn on the newly repaired walls of Level 16 that looked exactly like the one in the General’s calendar.

Walter found himself looking forward to what soon became daily drawings, even going so far as to actively look for them on his lunch break if he hadn’t already spotted one. He wasn’t sure how many people had seen them besides himself, but he figured there had to be a few as the drawings grew larger and became increasingly complex as the days passed and the artist became bolder. 

After another week of birds - an owl on Level 9, a hummingbird on Level 12, a seagull (complete with beach sunset and palm trees) on Level 13, an eagle on Level 11, a peacock on Level 14, a flamingo on Level 10, and a brightly colored toucan on Level 15 - it was clear that the chalk art had been noticed by more than a few personnel. Occasionally, Walter overheard some of the scientists whispering about it, or noticed his fellow technicians slipping off to try and find the latest piece.

But from what he could tell, anyone who had seen the chalk art had chosen to keep their mouths shut, as the General hadn’t given any indication that he was aware of it.

Granted, Landry hadn’t earned those stars for nothing. If he wanted to keep something a secret, Walter was sure he’d have no way of knowing if General Landry was hiding something.

After the toucan, Walter was surprised to find a magnificent depiction of a hawk on the wall outside of General Landry’s office — undoubtedly done as a surprise for the General when he and SG-1 took the weekend off for a well-deserved break.

Of course, being SG-1, things never happened the way they were supposed to, and General Landry ended up spending the weekend hiking through the woods with Mitchell hunting a radioactive mutant deer or something.

Needless to say, General Landry was not pleased when he returned to the SGC to find that someone had drawn on the walls outside his office with chalk. Even if the hawk’s eyes did look eerily like the General’s.

Although seeing a life-size drawing of the previously mentioned radioactive mutant...thing on the wall right when he exited the elevator thirty seconds earlier probably hadn’t helped.

Walter did his best to keep a straight face and deny any prior knowledge of the unknown chalk artist’s activities when the General asked. Not that he really knew anything in the first place.

But once he’d gotten over his initial shock, it was obvious that General Landry thought it was quite good work. Walter had spotted him admiring it through the open office door and smiling before shaking his head ruefully.

Unfortunately, Walter wasn’t privy to the General’s subsequent investigation. If there was one at all. A simple check of the security tapes would undoubtedly reveal the culprit, but other than some minor grumbling under his breath for the next several days, General Landry didn’t seem to have done anything about it.

After Landry’s discovery and apparently silent approval of the chalk artist’s work, they grew even bolder. A series of targeted… attacks followed with each chalk drawing. 

A few days later there was a line of stars on the ceiling down a corridor on Level 19 that led to several of the astrophysics labs. Around the edges of the door to Colonel Carter’s lab was a beautiful series of the phases of the moon, drawn quite accurately.

Walter couldn’t resist the urge to snap a picture while Colonel Carter was in a briefing. Though how the culprit had managed to draw on the _ceiling_ without being noticed was beyond him. Walter had his suspicions, of course, but just when he thought he’d figured it out, the artist would draw something that would change his mind or put someone else on his radar.

A drawing of General O’Neill showed up after he’d paid the SGC a visit; right outside of the gateroom where teams leaving could see it. In a speech bubble above the drawing was O’Neill’s oft repeated piece of advice; _“Don't get caught by the bad guys.”_

Which Walter knew was easier said than done.

Outside the gym was an amusing image of Teal’c dressed up as a Jedi battling Darth Vader, complete with an exploding Death Star in the background.

It was only after the drawings stopped for three weeks, then subsequently returned that Walter learned who the culprit was, and he really wasn’t surprised. It should have been obvious from the beginning, really, because who else but Vala Mal Doran would be brave enough to draw Colonel Mitchell outside the lost and found clad in a tac vest, P90 and a strategically placed sign that covered a certain lower region with _“Have you seen my pants?”_ written on it?

It helped that Walter had overheard Mitchell grumbling about it to Colonel Carter.

“Didja see what Vala drew this time?” Mitchell groaned inside Carter’s lab. “It’s ridiculous! I caught Siler taking a picture earlier!”

Carter snorted. “Well, you _are_ the one who keeps losing his pants.”

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Sam; twice. I’ve lost my pants _twice._ Twice is not always,” Mitchell corrected irritably. 

“Three times, actually. I remembered that party on 358 the other day—“ 

“I thought we promised we’d never mention that again?” 

She laughed. “C’mon, Cam. It’s not _that_ bad. There are worse things Vala could be doing. You know how she gets when she’s bored,” Carter pointed out.

Walter had to agree, and figured that if the General was looking the other way, that was the reason behind it. Mitchell seemed resigned to the same fact, because he didn’t order anyone to take it down like Walter had expected him to.

A few weeks later he actually managed to catch Vala in the act — she was halfway through a depiction of an impressive dragon when she threw a tiny piece of chalk on the ground and stomped on it in frustration. Walter hesitated a second too long to escape before she spotted him and she quickly shouted for him to wait. For the life of him, Walter wasn’t quite sure why he did, because he was soon face to face with the space pirate, who was looking at him with an expression that was a cross between a sly, seductive smile and an innocent, doe-eyed look.

“It’s Walter, isn’t it?” she asked in her most charming voice. She stepped a little closer to him and reached out to trace a finger over his name tag. “Or do you prefer Harriman?”

He looked down at her hand and gulped nervously. “E-either one… I guess?”

She smiled. “Alright… Walter. I was wondering if a fine soldier such as yourself would be willing to do me a favor?”

“I-I don’t know…” He wanted to take a step back, but his body seemed to be too enchanted to comply.

“Oh come on. Please? Help a girl out,” she said, almost pleading.

Slowly, he nodded nervously. “What do you need?”

Vala bent down to retrieve the chalk that she’d stomped on. “More of this chalk. I would order more on your internet, but my Daniel has hidden all of his new credit cards and given that I am not allowed off base without an escort or have any kind of currency to speak of…”

In the grand scheme of things that Walter had expected Vala to ask him to do, purchasing more sidewalk chalk hadn’t even made the list. But the more he thought about it, the more inclined he was to agree. Her artwork _was_ pretty good and it kept her at least somewhat occupied when she wasn’t on missions with SG-1… And it wasn’t like it was all that expensive or hard to find. Who was he to turn down such a simple request if it curbed Vala’s usual brand of chaos?

“O-okay,” he said, and was almost knocked over by the force of the hug Vala suddenly gave him. 

“I’d hoped I could trust you!” she gushed. “I appreciate you help. I will email you the information right away!” 

Then she was gone, leaving a slightly stunned Walter behind wondering if he’d somehow been played but didn’t realize it yet. 

Within the hour Walter received an email with a half dozen links to various types of chalk (apparently Vala had been doing some extensive research on the matter) that was, naturally, more expensive than he’d expected. 

It wasn't hard to get General Landry to sign off on it. He simply added the items to one of the supply and requisition forms, knowing the General wouldn't look all that closely at it. He’d long since learned that the bigger the stack of forms, the less likely he was to pay attention. Especially if Walter asked him about whatever the bird of the day was while he waited.

And if he did notice, Walter would just pass it off as refugee supplies.

Giving Vala the chalk made it worth it. She thanked Walter a dozen times and kissed him on the cheek before running off to try them out like the tornado that she was.

The next day he was (secretly) quite pleased to find a caricature of himself in the gate room with a little speech bubble above his head that said: _“Chevron seven locked!”_

The best, of course, was the drawing Vala had done for Dr. Jackson. He’d been away for a few weeks, only to return and find a beautiful depiction of (from what Walter could tell based on pictures he’d seen) the gate room of Atlantis on his door. It must have taken hours, but no one had seen Vala - well, no one but the SFs who were watching the security cameras, but they weren’t talking.

But Dr. Jackson’s reaction to the drawing was priceless. Walter made sure that he just so ‘happened’ to be walking by when Dr. Jackson first returned - though he didn’t bother to hide that he was watching. Jackson wouldn’t care, _if_ he even noticed in the first place.

At first Jackson seemed pleased. He just stood in front of his office, taking it all in with a small smile on his face. A second later he turned bright red and groaned in frustration. He was practically shaking as he swiped his key card and entered his office, slamming things around in order to work out his frustration.

“Has he seen it yet?” a voice said from behind Walter, causing him to jump.

He whipped around to see Vala poking her head around him so that she could see down the hall.

“U-uh, y-yes ma’am. I don’t think he’s very happy though,” he stuttered. Vala made him nervous. She was a rather intimidating woman, despite her pigtails and accessories and bouncy, outgoing attitude.

Her eyes were twinkling merrily. “Oh, what a shame. I worked really hard on it. Did all sorts of research too… guess some men just don’t know how to appreciate art,” she said, winking suggestively at Walter.

“No ma’am. I mean, yes ma’am, I mean…”

Vala just smirked and waved as she walked into Dr. Jackson’s office. “Hello darling!” she said in a seductive voice.

“Vala!” burst Dr. Jackson. The whole hall- perhaps even the whole level could hear him. “You _cannot_ draw on my door in chalk! Especially if you’re going to put dirty jokes in Ancient up there!”

Walter just shook his head and walked away. There were some things that never changed.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello folks! Another Vala one-shot for y'all. I don't know where this headcanon came to me, but this little story has been sitting on my computer half-written for a couple of years now and I finally finished it up! I hope you all like it!  
And many, many thanks to Farmgirl for motivating me to post this!


End file.
